


I'm Not Alright, I'm Never Alright

by spideyhollan6



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Azazel Being an Asshole (Supernatural), Background Azazel (Supernatural), Bobby Singer's House, Broken Dean Winchester, Crying, Crying Dean Winchester, Dead John Winchester, Dean Winchester Has Anger Issues, Dean Winchester Has Nightmares, Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester Use Their Words, Dean Winchester is Loved, Emotional Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e02 Everybody Loves a Clown, F/M, Forehead Kisses, Gentle Kissing, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kissing, Nightmares, POV Dean Winchester, POV Female Character, Princes of Hell | Yellow-Eyed Demons (Supernatural), Reader Loves Dean Winchester, Reader-Insert, Sad Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Angst, Sam Winchester is Not Okay, Season/Series 02, Sleeping Dean Winchester, Sleeping in the Impala (Supernatural), The Impala (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23791474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideyhollan6/pseuds/spideyhollan6
Summary: You find Dean smashing the Impala outside Bobby's house after his talk with Sam about John's death; he cries in your arms. Later, you comfort him after he has a nightmare and tell him how much you love him. (Set in season 2, episode 2)+Dean Winchester x ReaderNo smut here.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & You, Dean Winchester/You
Comments: 5
Kudos: 48





	I'm Not Alright, I'm Never Alright

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure angst/fluff featuring crying Dean. I shoved you into the story because i thought it was a good fic opportunity. Hope you enjoy :)  
> Here's the scene: https://youtu.be/KgYGoIrBrZg  
> Listen to this while you read: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRbDb3lIpUs

You stand at the window overlooking the car yard behind Bobby's house. Sam is walking over to the Impala where Dean is working on her. He adores that car. Sometimes it's the only thing that's still normal in his life.

Sam stops in front of Dean and starts talking to him. You can't make out the words from where you're standing. Moving to the kitchen, you grab a beer out of Bobby's fridge, pop the lid off and take a sip. It's cold and the perspiration on the bottle wets your hand.

You move to the conjoined living room and sit down in one of the chairs, joining Bobby who's sitting at his desk looking through a leather-bound book that’s covered in dust.

"You doing okay, y/n?" He raises his head to you as you look over at him. His eyes are concerned. You give him a small smile.

"I'm fine. It's them I'm worried about." You nod your head towards the backyard where the two brothers are and bring your bottle back to your chapped lips. The cool liquid slides down your throat as Bobby sighs in sad agreement.

"They'll never get a break. Especially now after their father." He looks at the book he's holding and closes it tiredly. A small cloud of dust rises into the air as he sets it on the desk in front of him.

You sigh. Nothing has been easy for Sam and Dean. Not even when they were kids. But that's the life of a hunter. There's nothing that can be done about it.

The two of you sit in silence until the back door opens, revealing a crying Sam. The tears pooled under his eyes now fall onto his cheeks.

“Sam, what’s wrong?” You stand up and go to comfort him, placing your forgotten beer on a random table. He takes a step back when you come closer. Hurt crosses your features before disappearing so as not to make him feel worse at your reaction. Holding up his hands to stop you, he sniffles, looking away.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” He dodges you and moves into the hallway out of view. _Natural Winchester behavior_ , you think. _Avoid your feelings and isolate yourself from anyone close to you._ You give Bobby a downcast glance.

“I’ll go talk to him.” He says, getting up and leaving the room.

“I’ll go find Dean.” You state before heading towards the back door.

As you close it behind you, you hear what sounds like metal being pounded. Walking toward the noise, your eyes land on the Impala that’s taking the force of Dean’s anger. He’s beating a crowbar against the trunk. You notice glass sprinkled across the dirt under Dean’s shoes.

Dean grunts as he forms a hole in his car, repeatedly whacking it until all his energy is spent. Tears fill your concerned eyes as you watch him release the pain from losing his father. You know he’s always kept his emotions hidden away to seem strong for Sam. But in these moments of privacy his true feelings come out. Most of the time in anger or tears. Sometimes both.

The crowbar falls, making a clang as it hits the solid ground. Dean steps back, the damage to the car finally seen. He breathes heavily and steps over the glass, pacing. Turning your direction, his eyes shift up as he hears you walking towards him. They’re filled with grief and loneliness as he stares at you. He looks broken, like he might fall apart right this moment.

You take careful steps towards him as he shakes in pain. He looks down at the gravel as you approach him, standing a foot away. Reaching out a hand towards his face, you gently place your palm on his right cheek, giving him a soft and reassuring smile. _It’ll be alright,_ you tell him with your eyes as newly formed tears fall down his face. You carefully reach up with your other hand and swipe the tears away with your thumbs, but they continue to fall. Dean’s face contorts with pain and you nod.

“It’s okay, baby.” You watch as he crumbles in your hands, pulling him into your embrace. You wrap an arm around his back, resting one hand on the nape of his neck. Sobs wrack his body as you rub soothing circles into his shoulder blades. “It’ll be okay.” You hold him in your arms as he shakes, wrapping his arms tightly around your smaller frame. Resting his head on your shoulder, you can feel his tears falling onto your shirt, but you don’t mind. You just hold him, whispering soothing nothings to help him get through the pain as best he can.

~

As Dean’s sobs quiet to sniffles, you start to pull away from your embrace. He hesitates, not wanting to let go. Wiping the tear tracks from his face, you kiss his forehead and take a calloused hand in your soft one. You lead him around to the right side of the Impala, his body dragging tiredly along behind you. Opening the door to the backseat, you climb in and scoot over until you’re almost to the opposite side, never letting go of his hand. He follows you into the car and you pull him closer to you. Resting his head on your shoulder, he curls up into you, looking so worn out.

You bring your other hand to join the first and bring his hand to your lips. Gently kissing his knuckles, your lips land as light as butterflies. Once you’re finished with the first hand, you move to the second. You turn to look at him and notice his eyes are shut, lashes wet from crying. His breathing is heavy with sleep. You sigh as you watch over his peaceful form.

“I love you, baby.” You whisper as you stare out the window of the Impala, the sun setting below the horizon.

A little while later, you notice your boyfriend is shivering. You gently adjust so as not to wake him and exit the Impala quietly, heading back to Bobby’s house to grab some blankets. You walk quickly and softly through the darkness, opening the back door and heading to the linen closet near the laundry room. Grabbing the softest blankets you can find, you carefully leave the house and head back to the car. As you get into the backseat again, you close the door softly before looking at Dean. Your heart clenches and you drop the blankets down next to you.

Dean’s awake, shaking, his eyes wide in fear and pain. New tears are falling down his face, and he gasps when he sees you.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” He doesn’t respond, just cries in anguish and clutches at his chest through his shirt. “Baby, are you alright?” You put your hand on his neck again. Your eyes are starting to tear up, but you blink them away. Dean needs you. He shakes his head no, putting his head in his hands. Heartbreaking sobs escape his throat as he runs his fingers through his hair frantically. You wrap your arms around him for the second time today, rocking him back and forth to try and calm him down.

“Shhh. I know, baby.” You kiss the top of his head. “Let it out. I’m here.” Dean’s cries become louder and he curls into your side, holding you like you’re the only thing keeping him safe. You tenderly kiss his forehead, eyebrows, nose, cheeks, and lastly his lips. You grab one of the blankets, a soft dark blue one, and wrap it over both of your bodies to keep you warm in the back of the Impala. His sobs turn to whimpers as he slowly stops trembling. You both don’t say anything for a while, causing you to think he’s asleep.

“I had a nightmare.” You startle softly at his words, compared to the quiet, and wrap your arms tighter around him.

“You were in it. Dad was too.” He whispers. “Then the yellow-eyed demon appeared.” A single tear drops down his cheek and you wipe it away. “He made me choose which one of you he would kill.”

Your heart clenches as you listen. Dean’s breath shakes when he exhales. “But then he killed both of you.” His voice cracks and you lift his head so your eyes meet. Tears fill yours as you think of everything your boyfriend has gone through.

“Dean,” you start, your voice shaky with emotion. “I promise you I will be here for you no matter what. I will never leave you. And you’ll never have to go through that situation ever. Okay?” Dean cries softly while you speak. He couldn’t have ever imagined having someone like you in his life. You wipe his tears away.

“You’ve got me. Okay, babe? I’m right here and I love you so much.” You lean in and kiss his lips softly, as he kisses back. With you he knows he’s safe.

With you he knows he’ll be alright.

“I love you, too y/n. Forever.”


End file.
